8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize