Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
