Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize