Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
