I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
