So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she looked like the before picture.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I will pee on everything he values.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
