your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
