I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
