ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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