You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
