Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
