wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
