What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my being single is dangerous.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
