I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
