I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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