Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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