HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
