yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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