I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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