Yo dont text me then not text me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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