Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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