I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
