I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
