If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
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My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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