Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
