I think my vagina is haunted
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
