i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Sober January is a disaster.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
