Where is the hickey?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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