walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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