Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
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You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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