mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In other news, I just burned my penis
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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