Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
