Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
