btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
