this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
