I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
