Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
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I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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