i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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