White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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