apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
