Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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