is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
