I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
