Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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