Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
