What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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