pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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