Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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