i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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