I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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