"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
