I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
