If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
