Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize