hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
