I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
