she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This couple is walking their pig around campus
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
