so explain again why im purple
no
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
