I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
high people should be assigned attendants
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
