You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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