ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
