Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
