Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
