I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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